Marvellous masks

We’re loving our masks!
That some people have gained a few minutes of fame by refusing to wear one doesn’t just shine a light on their totally self-centred nature but their complete lack of being able to grab it while the going is good!
Like any other workplace, at the Midland Express office we’re all togged up in our masks and while they might fog up our glasses (nearly all of us wear them!) and get dotted in lunchtime avocado, we’ve decided there are a number of upsides to wearing the things.
Just as head scarves did when they were the height of fashion in the 1970s, masks can hide so much…masks are as good for coverups now just as those scarves were for bad hair days way back then.
Make up and masks don’t go well together. The fact is really that they go too well together, blend right in and mingle so much that the mask becomes one with beige Revlon we’ve slapped on in the morning to cover up heaven knows what blemishes. And that brings us to the first good reason to wear a mask.
1/You don’t need to wear face makeup – foundation or powder – and certainly not blusher. Nobody will know, only you.
2/You can give up wearing lipstick or lip gloss.
3/You don’t have to worry about your nose running if you’re outside in the cold – nobody will see it.
4/Sniff all you like, nobody will hear it.
5/ Eat as much garlic as you like for dinner the night before (or at lunch time for that matter). Every time to exhale then inhale you’ll be the only person who’ll smell it.
6/A face mask with elastic around the back of the head will keep your hair in place or give you the excuse not to bother about it and if it looks awful, every other person’s hair looks just as bad.
7/ We don’t have to be polite and smile at people we’d rather not smile at. Poke your tongue out at someone who bugs you, your mask has got you covered!
8/And one of the best reasons for wearing mask is that nobody will be picked at for that ‘resting bitch face’.
When all this is over, we’ll miss out masks…perhaps we’ll replace casual Fridays with mask Fridays…or Mondays which we only pretend to like…
Glasses are fogging over again so we’d better stop!

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